


There's a part I can't tell

by Carebzz



Category: Kingkiller Chronicles - Patrick Rothfuss
Genre: Domestic Violence, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Heavy Angst, Physical Abuse, Self-Hatred, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-08-24 06:24:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16634672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carebzz/pseuds/Carebzz
Summary: Denna reflecting on her relationship with Master Ash





	There's a part I can't tell

**Author's Note:**

> Guys, I cried while writing this. Please, do not read if you are in a dark place. Read my Devi and Mola stuff instead.
> 
> Title is from Spring Awakening, characters from Patrick Rothfuss

She made the mistake of crying the first time he hit her. He turned instantly, comforting her, holding her close. “I’m so sorry,” he murmured into her hair. “I just get so angry, I lose control. Please forgive me.” She looked up into his face, tears in his eyes. “I can’t lose you. You are so important.”

"Okay," she whispered. 

The second time was for a ruse. He said it would sell the story. He offered not to, so she would insist. “They may think you’re responsible, but you’re clever, you can get out of it any way.” She handed him the large branch. She thought she saw a smile then.

The third time he yelled first. She was accustomed to yelling from him as well as other men. So much anger, but she was quick and unafraid to run. Except from him. He made sure she knew she couldn’t do better. He strode towards her, a storm of rage. “No one cares about you.” His voice was cold. “Without me, you will die on the streets. I will have you barred from the bedroom of every man. You would be lucky to have stale bread every day.” When she fell over, he kicked her until she passed out.

She thought the mind games might be the worst. Because she couldn't trust her mind anymore. She heard his voice, even when he wasn’t there. She heard his whispers, his descriptions of the ways he would hurt her next. He once described how he would kill her if she left him. How he would find her. How he would hurt her. He didn’t touch her that day but she stopped breathing anyway. 

And it wasn’t like he was a monster. There would be moments, moments where he would tell her a history lesson, or discuss the lyrics of a song, and she saw his passion, his love. It wasn’t the dresses he bought, not the jewelry, but he got her medication, to ease the pain of her coughs, the food that reminded her of her childhood, the books he thought she would enjoy. He cared and it wasn’t perfect, but it was what she had. And what she deserved. He was a man. Imperfect, just like her.

She was not a good person. She preyed on men. She abandoned everyone who had ever loved her. She was a leech. She was a thief, a whore. A selfish bitch. And so they deserved each other, destroying the people around them. 

She wasn’t meant to be loved. Not the kind from storybooks. She had the real thing. And it would be the death of her.

**Author's Note:**

> Any feedback is amazing, please and thank you!!!!


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